Thursday, December 22, 2011

One Year at a Time...

When we were trying for Reagan and we were just going through testing to figure out what was wrong, I was told by a 50 yr old mother that "It's not hard to get pregnant." And you gotta love that it was said in that 'You're so stupid' tone.  That lady can kiss my ass, its not easy.  Not for me at least. I have to fight so damn hard for it.  Put my body, my emotions, my mind, my heart through so much more than most.

This sums up my feelings lately:

Since I started trying to conceive..

1.06 Years or 375 Days or 9,000 Hours or 540,000 Minutes or 32,400,000 Seconds have passed
10 Friends have had a total of 12 Babies
10 Friends are pregnant
7 Rounds of Clomid have failed
65 Clomid pills have been swallowed
230 Metformin pills have been ingested
1 Basal Body Thermometer has been purchased
110 Ovulation Predictor Tests have been used
20 Pregnancy Tests have come back Negative
3 Ultrasounds have been done
15 Vials of Blood have been tested
And too many tears, prayers, questions, set backs, and heartbreaks to count.

I know that God doesn't give us more than we can bear, but I still wonder how much more I can handle. And when does it get to be my turn?

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry Kathleen. I have no words for you that would ease the hurt and pain you are feeling. I have a friend who blogged a bit about her journey of infertility as's here if you want to take a look:

    Hugs to you, my friend.